FWD American Sedans: LS 4 Less

News of the new Honda Civic Type R sedan has crossed the pond and, much to the chagrin of every American fan, the plans are to release it everywhere but here; brilliant. But that doesn’t stop us from drooling over the specs; a 0-60 in 5.7 seconds, top speed nearly hits 170 miles per hour, 3050 pounds and a two-liter turbocharged four cylinder pumping out 306 horsepower and 295 lb-ft connected to a 6-speed manual transmission.

Yes, it’s still front-wheel drive and the traditionalists will continue to gnash their teeth as advances in technology continue to overcome that hurdle. “It just isn’t right!” they scream, pumping their fists as they’re going off-road nose first. Besides, how many rear-wheel drive cars have copious amounts of understeer dialed in these days, the main complaint connected to the front wheels being driven? So that critique is ancient and let's call it what it is; moot.

The other is torque steer, a powerful car nearly ripping the steering wheel out of your hands as you floor it, alternatively and violently heading for the ditch or oncoming traffic. Those days are over and you need to try one of these new FWD cars that have virtually none of that, folks. And though I have yet to drive it, I'm sure this new Civic Type R is yet another example of what can be done when the engineers put their minds to it.

In the UK, the zippiest factory Civic can be had for what amounts to as about $47,000 (US dollars). But what if I told you that you can have an American sedan or coupe that will post a similar 0-60 for pennies on the dollar and you won’t have to row your own as you sit in the gazillionth hour of traffic with your left thigh screaming in pain from all the shifting?

Look no further than the family of General Motors aluminum small-block V8 motors known as the LS4. Not to be confused with the similarly named big-block engines of yore, these bad boys featured “Displacement on Demand”, just about the same horsepower and about 30 more lb-ft torques.

I can hear you groaning right now and you’re right, this motor is sitting in cars based on the third generation W-platform that dates back to the late-80s. Fair enough, that’s true. I can also hear you gearing up to start blathering about the rightly revered  Aussie-based G8. But how do you feel about saving up to $42,000? No? Can I borrow some money, Money Bags? In the meantime, color me a cheapskate and sign me up for a FWD LS4!

The LS4 was available in four models from GM. Let’s take a look at them in brand alphabetical order and focus on an interesting example currently for sale. These cars will most likely be gone by the time you read this but they're pretty good indicators of the current market values on the street as of this writing.

2008–2009 Buick LaCrosse Super

If your idea of fun is to slip completely under the radar, then this is your car. Not only will nobody challenge you to a stoplight race, they won’t actually even know you’re there. This car is so invisible, that you'll need to drive defensively so that you’re not t-boned by mistake.

This black over cream (grey?) leather interior car has 65,000 miles and those gawd-awful wince-worthy portholes. Start referring to yourself as “Doctor Love Handles”, get in and drive!

2006–2009 Chevrolet Impala SS

Featured in the excellent thriller “Drive” as the sleeper of choice for the sophisticated criminal wheelman, this car has a cop vibe to it because so many cities actually employed this vehicle for many years. They turned out to be a costlier choice because the old RWD cars were so easy to fix after police officers jumped curbs in pursuit of fresh cup of joe with a side of dough. But you can look like a law keeper too with these Impalas that looked about as plain Jane as could be. Fender flares weren’t even part of the package but a monochrome black SS does have a Darth Vader’s family transport aura to it.

Our featured example is covered in a silver cloak of invisibility and the grey cloth interior will do nothing to brighten your outlook on life on a dreary day but with just a bit more than 70,000 miles on it, dual-zone air conditioning, an auxiliary jack for your MP3 player and what appears to be spotless condition, this car will be like new to you. Maybe saving all that money as you leave a cloud of tire smoke will cheer you up.

If the relentless lack of color is too much for you, here’s a red over cream leather interior example with similar mileage that might satisfy your retina-reviving requirements.

2006–2007 Chevrolet Monte Carlo SS

Easily the most extroverted of our foursome but also the most divisive design-wise, this car references redneck race cars (or is that vice-versa) that only turn in one direction. If you refuse to have more than two doors on your LS4 car and you revere the name Earnhardt, then this is your pick.

Here’s a perfect example of vehicle that’s been babied the entirety of its life, with only 16,000 miles on it. Red over a black leather interior, this is basically a brand new car and will most likely sell for a premium.

2005–2008 Pontiac Grand Prix GXP

Arguably the best of the bunch, the GP GXP received the most suspension attention, which is immediately apparent the moment you drive it. That also means that maintenance may be a bit higher but that’s a small price to pay for a dedicated enthusiast and by no means as high as German competitors.

Though certainly not a bad potential purchase, this maroon over black leather and suede interior example with 123,000 miles is not the greatest find but more of a typical example of what’s out there. Search a bit and you can find even better deals local to you.

All of these cars suffer just about every criticism you can throw at GM cars of this vintage, including engineering that’s a step behind the times, cheap materials and a lack of attention to detail. And yet, they’re some of the best deals in cheap high performance currently out there. Will they ever be collectible? Highly unlikely so buy one today, drive it like you stole it and don’t worry about it!

Many people mistakenly assume these are the same engines as the distantly related Northstar, with that motor's less than sterling but somewhat undeserved reputation. This is untrue; those engines, known as the LD8, appeared in the Pontiac Bonneville GXP and Buick Lucerne CXS. The LS4 of the time was not only more powerful but has also proven to be more reliable and high mileage examples are very common. Online research will show that there are more problems with the automatic transmissions in the LS4 cars than the engine (so bank some money for that future maintenance possibility).

Go in armed with the knowledge the oldest car here, the 2005 Grand Prix GXP is listed with a roughly $5,000 private party price tag with normal mileage and a “Good” condition rating from Kelly Blue Book (KBB), not including options. Our newest car with the highest original MSRP (roughly $34,000) is the 2009 Buick LaCrosse Super, which now has a KBB of around $11,000.

So back to the rather ridiculous comparison between this foursome and the overseas-only Honda Civic Type R, none of these cars are sports cars, I’ll grant you that. But they are measurably more utilitarian and livable everyday for a couple with a dog or a family with no more than two children. You could even put a trailer hitch on the LS4 cars and you're all set for a hardcore shopping trip to Home Depot.

The Type R is a relative lightweight compared to the LS4some by 500 to nearly 800 pounds but based on the stats for a 2015 Civic sedan, the GM cars offer roughly half a foot more rear leg room, considerably more interior and cargo room as the result of almost another two feet in exterior length.

Just as a comparison to the Buick LaCrosse Super, a 2009 Mercedes C350 Sport that’s slower 0-60 by about a second had an MSRP about $10,000 more and is now worth around $14,000 while still suffering from the notoriously higher maintenance costs associated with German brands. Would most folks rather drive a Mercedes than a Buick? Highly likely but here’s an opportunity for a car enthusiast in the know to drive cheap speed cheaply and leave those "Nothing but the best" BS market-speak badge snobs behind in the dust.

No matter how you look at it, these cars are a great way to get into a powerful used FWD American car. Cheap speed indeed, long live the LS4!

Photos by eBay and Craigslist